Just like everyone else, all I’ve ever wanted and all I’ve ever fought for was happiness. After what feels like an eternity, I can finally say that I am happy. Being a mother and being IN LOVE has made it happen finally for me.
If anyone told me last years that this was going to happen, I would have laughed and considered that person to be cruel for giving me false hope. I was in a really dark place, on the verge of suicide – something I don’t wish on anyone. My daughter saved my life because she became my life. My lovely man showed me that – as imperfect as I am – I too can be truly loved just the way I am, flaws and all.
I know, I know this all sound corny, but its the truth. Nothing can possibly explain how happy I am and driven to better myself in every way I can. I’m a simple girl. I don’t aspire to anything fancy or flamboyant. Never really did! All I ever wanted was the simple family, a nice and cozy place to live and the perspective of someday sitting on a porch watching my grandchildren play, with a warm cup of coffee, diving into the memories of a full life.
My grandmother told me one: “At this point for me, I am telling you the story of my life! At this point for you, you have to make sure the story is a damn good one!”. It took me a while to understand what she meant, but – I can honestly say – now I do. Like any story, it does have some dark chapters. Then again, light doesn’t exist without darkness. So, I’ll just keep on writing till God puts down a period.
I’ve been running and acting on fear my entire life which, as short as it may seem, it’s way too long. Fear is a normal feeling and it’s always going to be there. Letting it call the shots when it’s not equipped to do so, it’s downright foolish. Being brave does not mean being without fear. Being brave means doing whatever needs inspite of fear.
Anyway, I’m rambling – a habit I somehow managed to pick up from my boyfriend. Oh, he’ll be so proud of me lol! Bottom line is – I’m in The Seventh Heaven!!!