…since I last wrote on here…
A lot of this have been going on. A lot of emotions to deal with and, if you’re like me, you need a moment to process everything before you can get a clear head.
Was thinking this morning about how a simple concept like “what’s right and what’s wrong” changes throughout the years. When I met the father of my daughter, I was very young. I was 18 years old. By that age, I already had been through enough and he became my hope for escape. He became the only stable person in my life. The problem was – I had no idea what stability meant. Nonetheless, at 18 that felt right. I was happy without me actually knowing what happiness was. Even that changed.
What I thought was happiness back then meant small moments here and there which I would mentally amplify to make them seem bigger than they actually were. It meant settling for very little because…oh well, at least I had that. I will not bash him as, without him, my daughter would not exist. Bottom line is – the relationship was beyond toxic, but, with my background, I thought it was enough. Deep down, I knew better. Just the idea of getting out of my comfort zone scared me. It’s not easy to do that.
I, eventually, did get out of my comfort zone and now, almost 10 years later, I see a significant change within myself. Aside from me learning what love is and how it’s suppose to be, I learned to accept true happiness.
Love and happiness are not hidden and kept only for a select group of people. I found them in the most unexpected place. I found them in one person (leaving motherhood aside for a second). And, in him, I find them every single day.
What was right 10 years ago and what’s right now are light-years apart. Now it’s about support, friendship, passion, partnership, acceptance, playfulness, humor, honor, trust, loyalty and last but not least…true love.
This is right!