2018 was the year I became a mother. I was far from being ready to be a parent, but, nevertheless, I am really happy.
Motherhood, up until now has taught me many lessons about myself, about life, about how things actually work in this world. It would take me a month of night to write down all of them so I narrowed it down to 3 major lessons. So here it goes.
1. LIFE LONG COMMITMENT
Being a parent is not a on and off relationship, it doesn’t have an OFF button, you do not get a break from it. Being a parent is a permanent thing – that child is yours for life. You cannot break up with your child or divorce your child. For all you single parents out there – I know what you are thinking. Indeed there are a lot of genetic contributors who bail on their kids without looking back. It happened to me. I’m not talking to those people now. I’m talking to those who understand what having a child is, who – despite the hardships and challenges – fight for their children. You guys know this – the child is yours even if it’s not always about dancing on tulips. You may not always like your child. Kids can be a handful some days. God knows I don’t always like my child – she can drive me nuts. Does that make me a bad mother? Hell no! It makes me a normal mother. Even in the days I don’t like her, I do love her more than words and that drives me to push through the hard times. So yes – being a parent is a life long commitment
2. YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT
I don’t care if you do babysitting for a living. When you have your own child, the first thing you realize is that – you don’t know shit. It’s like when you read and study really hard for a very important exam, but – when the day comes – you feel like you are totally unprepared. Depending on the kind of person you are – this can make you or break you.
When I was pregnant, I thought I got this motherhood thing down to the very last letter. I watched videos, I read tons of books on parenting. I really did think that I was prepared to face it and pass with flying colors. I even fantasized about it. My fantasy kid was perfect, non-crying, great sleeper, predictable, non-tantrum throwing. My fantasy kid would never poop so hard that it would shoot out from the back of the diaper into her hair. She would never pee on me. She would be very independent from the start so I did have time to work and keep the income flowing regularly. Perfect little angel! The second I gave birth I found out very different. Was it a shock? Yes and no! Yes because I really thought I knew what I was doing and no because that’s just how life is.
So…going back to the MTV Diary’s light-motif – You think you know, but you have no idea!
3. TRUE, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Throughout out lives – we experience love in many different ways which kind of gives us an idea of what love is. Going back to number 2 – you don’t know shit! The love you feel when you first see your child is so big that it’s overwhelming. It’s a palette of emotions that put a hold on your heart like nothing else. It’s a true and unconditional love. No matter what your child will do – the love will be the same if not even bigger. It’s a love that only grows and never dies. It’s a love that goes beyond you heart and mind and body. It even goes beyond death. It’s a love that can sometimes make your other experiences with love seem superficial.
The first thing I realized after I gave birth was that all the other people in my life are disposable. Sounds bad, I know! Think of it this way – you can love your spouse/boyfriend/friends/brothers/sisters/parents etc. but would you ever choose them over your own child? My guess the answer is a resounding NO! Thus proving my point!
When it comes to your own child – love truly is enough.
So there you go, my friends! These are the 3 major lessons I’ve learned from being a parent. It’s the best journey of my life and I can firmly say – I’M HAPPY!