The Aftermath…

….of the #outthem

It’s been a while since that happened and since I posted. I kept getting messages and reading comments about that little stunt that guy pulled on my page. Some people got what I tried to do, some didn’t. Curious enough – the people who didn’t are mostly men. You know, if I were a guy – I’d be a little ticked off about this because yahoos like this give men a bad name. Aren’t you guys tired to hear at every corner that all men are pigs? I sure as hell am. Just because there are a few out there who need to grow a pair, does not mean there are not wonderful men in this world. Unfortunately those have it hard.

So…back to the point… I was reading through the messages and the men who were bashing me were telling me that he meant it as a compliment and that I should be flattered. I’m sorry, what? Since when vulgar, sexual comments are compliments? Oh, oh , oh I see..he’s attracted to me. That’s fine! What’s not fine is him objectifying me while trying to express that. I swear sometimes I think the Do-Do bird laid one too many eggs…

Bottom line is that retaliating when being disrespected is a perfectly acceptable reaction. Nothing wrong with biting someone’s head off when they deserve it. Nothing wrong in holding someone accountable when they screw up. The problem today is that people expect and feel entitled to get away with the shit they do and that is reflected in our kid’s education. If I had a dollar for every child under the age of 5 who I saw being a rude and spoiled brad, I’d drive a Porsche Cayenne. Can I blame the child? No because the parents are the same.  Kids learn 80% from what they see. Trust me, if you think your kid is not paying attention to you, think again. He is absorbing everything you do and say and it will bite you in the ass one day. I have a 6 month old. She is teething, but she has no teeth yet and she chews. She learned to chew from me. When we eat, she is in the high chair and I am sitting across from her and she saw me chewing and she started to mimic the motion. Monkey see, monkey do! That’s the first stage of learning and our kids will always try to copy us.

So that guy has that sense of entitlement. He said what he said without hiding and felt entitled to a positive response because that’s how he was taught. That’s what a lot of men his age do and that’s what’s trending in our society. Sadly, he didn’t take anything constructive away from this situation and the fact that he won’t do it again to me does not make me feel warm and fuzzy. He will do it again to some other girl and what ruffles my feathers is that a lot of women think they just need to brush it off.

The world would be a much better place if we didn’t brush anything off but, instead, we would tackle every single issue – big or microscopic – head on and we would stop shitting ourselves every time we’re being confronted.

Anyway…this is my ramble for tonight..

 

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Kind Or Nice?

What would you rather be – kind or nice? These two sound very similar, but are totally different things. People seem to misuse these terms quite a bit so let me enlighten you.

Nice is being agreeable. Essentially, you make everyone else feel comfortable except yourself. You keep your mouth shut and bow down your head just to avoid confrontation and/or conflict. Nothing wrong with being nice once in a while, but there is something really wrong with overdoing it.

Kind is doing the right thing regardless of who is uncomfortable. It means fighting for what’s right without stomping on people. Treating people with dignity and respect while still calling them out on their bullshit. Kind is staying firm in what you believe and not compromising on your values.

After outing the guy who posted that vulgar comment on my photo on facebook, I was accused of not being kind when in actuality – I think the person was trying to say that I wasn’t nice. True! I wasn’t nice! It wasn’t nice of me to expose the guy. I was kind! All I did was to just post a screenshot with the hashtag #outthem hoping that he’ll learn something from this. I did not – in anyway shape or form – attack him. Funny thing is that most accusations of me not being kind came from men when – if I were a dude – I’d be pretty pissed of since guys like this give the rest of the men out there a bad name.

It’s funny how people have very little to say when a woman is being attacked, but a WHOLE LOT to say when she retaliates. No offence, but I will not stay silent. I would much rather be labeled as a drama queen than be that woman who keeps her mouth shut hoping that my daughter will not have to put up with this. In all actuality, I do hope she does have to go through this so she can apply the things she’ll learn from me. I do hope I’ll be smart enough to teach her that she can fight back as loud as she wants while being kind, that retaliating or calling someone out is not WRONG! No, it’s not wrong to stand up for yourself.

Keeping my mouth shut makes me nice, but I would much rather be kind!

#outthem

So.. I posted a photo on Facebook sometime ago with me and my baby. Nothing special about it. All good till one dude decides it’s ok to post a comment that sounded something like this and I will not censor it – “I would fuck you so hard it’s not even funny. Is your pussy ready for me?”. Yeah…yes I know this dude. We actually went to college together and he never seemed to be THAT guy.

I immediately took a screenshot of that and posted it with the hashtag in the title. Not long after I get a message from him in which he called me out. We dude – you’re calling me out – I’m here to meet you! He said that he thought the comment wasn’t inappropriate in any way and that there is nothing wrong with him expressing his sexual attraction towards me. I told him that having a filter goes a long way and that I will not take own the screenshot. I don’t think I need to say what happened after I posted that. A lot of women posted screenshots of their experiences.

Ladies – this is not ok. If there is something I’ve learned in this life is to take no shit from anyone. I don’t care who it is. If you decide to be a shithead – be ready to take the consequences. Don’t expect to put your hand on the stove and not get burned amigo. If your mommy didn’t teach you how to behave, then I will and it will be a lesson you’ll never forget.

I got a little carried away and I sent that screenshot to his mother, sister, girlfriend, best friend, brother, grandmother…pretty much everyone that mattered in his list. What makes me damn proud of my girls is that they finally had the courage to not stay silent. Keeping quiet about this shit is pretty much saying that it’s ok when it’s not. Put it out there for everyone to see. Expose them and maybe, just maybe, one or two of these humanoids can be salvaged. Maybe one or two will learn something.

As a man – you should treat a woman the same way you would like your mother or daughter to be treated. Nothing less than that. We are not objects and we don’t have to put up with your crap in any way shape or form. So lose the entitlement and grow a pair of balls and act like a damn man. Nice guys don’t finish last!

Sometimes I’m disappointed…

in people…Does the picture above raise your eyebrows? Is there anything strange in that picture? Well, please be so kind as to un – squint your damn eyes and you’ll see a bunch of Junior High boys doing a Nazi Salute!!!!

In fucking 2018, we still have yahoo behavior. In 2018, we still see ignorance when information is pretty much slapping people in the face. Again, in 2018, we see still don’t learn. Fuck trying to find a cure for cancer! How about finding a cure for stupidity? How’s that?

After the shooting in Pittsburgh at the Synagogue, this photo emerges. How fucking cool is this? The younger generation is playing Hitler. Awww…that sure can make a parent warm and fuzzy inside.

Again, why? Why is this still happening? This is a rhetorical question. In actuality, there is no possible explanation under the sun that could possibly make me understand why, after everything that’s happened  throughout history, people never learn.

I am a mother and I feel disgusted that my child has to grow up in  this world, but I hope and I will do my best in parenting my child so that she will never behave like this.

OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE!

As a Christian, I want to openly apologize to the Jewish community for this behavior and I sincerely hope this will be done and over with. Sometimes people should act as if their mom’s watching over their shoulder. This world would be a much better place.Baraboo High School

 

 

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