You know what absolutely makes my day? Knowing that in this world there is someone who loves me. That someone is a wonderful man who fell in love with me inspite of me, inspite of what I used to do, inspite of my flaws, inspite of the distance between us. Do you have any idea how good that feels? I, sure as hell, didn’t. I can’t even remember the last time I felt happy. I may have had the impression I was happy, but truly being happy, catching myself smiling like an idiot whenever I think of him or whenever we talk etc….yeah….it’s been way too long.
Only the idea that only a short while ago I was about to loose that, makes me feel like a fool. He keeps telling me that he feel lucky when in fact I am the lucky one. I’m lucky because he took the time to get to know me – the woman behind the cam model, the person behind the dumped pregnant woman, the essence behind the self defense wall. I am not an easy person to love. I’m difficult, bitchy at times, stubborn, I can be mean and…I am afraid. Most of the times, I feel like I am my own worst enemy. I’ve been dominated by fear my entire life. Do you know how difficult it can be loving a person like me? Ask my boyfriend lol. He can write a book on that.
Inspite of all the reasons I gave him to not even consider being with me, inspite of so many times when I was pushing him away, he stayed. He patiently waited for me. He CHOSE to love me so how could I not fall in love with him. He is everything I’m not, but I want to be. He’s kind, loving, caring, considerate, he has a heart of platinum, he’s in love with life, he can make me laugh like no other and he knows how to love. Sound like Price Charming, right? Well, he is my Prince Charming and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.
I LOVE YOU, Hun! Here’s to you!